How can I Personalize a Funeral Service? [10 Custom Ideas]

10 ideas to personalize a funeral service

We are all unique and one of a kind. Our loved ones are no exception and when we find ourselves in the position of planning a funeral for ourselves or those we care about, it is a time we want to highlight, remember, and share the things that make each individual special. It can seem like an overwhelming challenge to personalize a funeral service and distill the entire life and being of a person into a ceremony, but like everything, if we take it one step at a time, we will get there. 

What is a Traditional Funeral Service?

A traditional funeral service is multiple stage event that will typically include:

Wake or Visitation - Held the day before, or the day of, a visitation is a time where mourners can come to say their final goodbyes and to show support to the family. The body of the deceased is usually held in a casket, which can be open or closed according to the preference of the family (www.consumer.ftc.gov).

Ceremony - This is the main part of the service. During this time loved ones may choose to share something about the deceased which could be a speech, a poem, a song etc. Many ceremonies follow religious traditions and at this time prayers are said and often a speech will be given by a religious representative, such as a priest (www.funeralocity.com).

Committal - This is when the remains of the deceased are laid to rest at the gravesite. It could include a funeral procession as the body is transported from the ceremony site to the gravesite. A smaller group attends this part of the ceremony and is often only family members (www.joincake.com).

Reception - Attendees are invited to meet up somewhere for refreshments and conversation. The home of the family or a reception room at the funeral home are common places for a reception to be held.

Why Would You Modernize a Funeral Service?

More and more we are moving away from the one size fits all way of doing things and headed more towards customization. Funerals are no exception. If every person is unique then so too should be the celebration of their life. A ceremony full of meaning can be the beginning of the healing process for attendees.

Personalizing a funeral service can not only honor our loved one as an individual in the best way, but can also reduce the overall cost. Traditional funeral services are expensive and can total in the thousands. By choosing to customize the service, we can leave out the services and steps that we don’t really need.

Increasing concerns about environmental impact is another thing that has folks looking outside of traditional services for more options. In green burials the body remains un-embalmed and is buried in a decomposable container or wrapped in a simple shroud and placed in the earth. These, along with water cremations, which are thought to cause less pollution than fire cremations, are on the rise in popularity (www.aarp.org). 

How to Personalize a Funeral Service (10 Custom Ideas)

There are countless ways to personalize a funeral service and we are only limited by our imaginations. By thinking about our loved one’s passions, joys, values, and accomplishments in life, we will be able to identify elements that will make the service special. Here are some ways to we can add in those personal touches:

1. Decorations- Use things that they liked such as, their favorite color, theme, collectibles, personal items and more. If our loved one was in the running for biggest Star Wars fan, a Star Wars themed funeral might be an epic way to help celebrate their life. Christmas decorations might be great for someone whose favorite time of year was the holidays. Creative flower arrangements and a tasteful display of key personal belongings are great ways to incorporate these special touches. Wearing colors different than black may also be a great way to celebrate the life of your loved one.
2. Photos and Videos - Having photos displayed of our loved one throughout their life is a key element. Making collages, slideshows, and framed displays are great ways to show the photos. Some people have had the idea of making prints of their favorite photos for the guests to choose from and take home.
3. Music - We connect to music very emotionally. Including our loved one’s favorite songs and artists is a way to bring a strong sense of them to the service. A favorite playlist or even a live performing musician will add a special touch.
4. A Creative Memorial Service - Some creative ideas for a memorial service include, having the service on a boat or near water if our loved one enjoyed fishing or boating, having their ashes turned into a beautiful fireworks display, planning a run for someone who loved running, create a community garden bed for a garden lover, send their ashes to space, or host karaoke for a karaoke lover.
5. Sharing Memories - Having a table set up with a way for people to write down and share their memories is a great idea. It is comforting for those sharing and can bring comfort throughout the years to the family when they are read again. There are lots of ways to be creative with this. Some people use memory jars, memory trees, or a memory book.
6. Food - Including our loved ones favorite food at the reception is another way to include a special touch. A dessert bar for sweet lovers would be appropriate, an ice cream truck for an ice cream lover is a great idea, or a pizza buffet for a pizza lover.
7. Location - Traditional funerals are usually held at the funeral home or in a church and there is nothing wrong with that. More and more people are choosing to have home funerals or memorials in locations of places the deceased loved such as a favorite spot in nature or a favorite restaurant. 
8. Activities - Provide an interactive way for guests to participate in something such as a canvas everyone can paint on, a frame around our loved ones photo everyone can sign, river stones people can write messages to the family on etc.
9. Memorial Tokens - A memorial token can be something small but meaningful that can bring comfort after the service is over. Some ideas include rocks, engraved tokens, seed packets, seedling, ornaments, candles, etc.
10. Poems, Quotes, and Readings - These are usually key elements in a ceremony. Reading a favorite passage or poem of our loved one can be a wonderful way to share the way they thought, their values, and the things they found meaning and joy in.

A Funeral Director Can Help

Don't get overwhelmed and lost in all of the details. Talk to a funeral director for support to create a personalized funeral service. He or she will be able to move step by step through the planning process making sure none of the important details are missed, helping us figure out where we will need help, and what we will be able to do ourselves. Stark Funeral Professionals, located in Southern Michigan, are ready to lend an experienced and compassionate hand.